Freedom?

Just got out of hospital. The wierd thing is that part of me wants to be back in there. I miss the security and the routine of the place. I miss the people that get me, that understand what I'm going through and don't judge because they're just as fucked up as I am. I miss being able to throw a tantrum and not reducing my parents to tears.

The truth is I'm really scared of the future. I don't want to have to take part in the real world again. I don't want to be responsible for my own life.

I've only got two weeks left until I have to go back to school - something I really don't want to have to do. I'll have to remember how to work all over again at the same time as remembering how to function and interact normally.

Life goes on - but I'd rather it didn't.

Insomnia

A friend very kindly reminded me that there is one way out: death. He wasn't actually being mean, just very drunk and insensitive. Anyway now I can't get it out of my head now I just want to go to sleep and never wake up.