High as a kite, lets get piercing.

So I've been manic about a week and two days ago I decided I wanted to get my belly button repierced. I then also decided to get my ears done as well so I popped down to the local tattoo place, parted with £100 and ended up with a belly button piercing, an inner cartilage piercing on my right ear and two outer cartilage piercings on my left which are gonna be a scaffold piercing.

I'm still in a place where I want this disease. I want this unpredictability. I don't know how to explain it because I can't even explain it to myself. I think I am mostly in control even when I'm high but I just have less inhibitions. I think its a good thing. Like a blessing. Maybe I'll see it from a different point of view when I'm in a different state of mind I don't know.

SLOOOWWW MOTTIIIOOOONNNN

I have an exam tomorow. Little bit important. And right now I can't sleep as my mind is to busy trying to figure out the concept of "you" or "oneself".

So if we start by saying that "you" are your thoughts at a specific moment in time. If you think about it you aren't the same you that you were a moment ago and if you met other yous from the past you would be similar but you wouldn't be inside the head of the other yous. Therefore, oneself is always a present being.


AAAAAAAAAAAhhhhhhhhhhh. The point is that this pondering is not going to help me with my biology AS tomorrow.

One the one hand this illness is a fucking paaiinn in the ass but on the other I don't know how I'd cope with losing the thoughts and ideas that it brings with it.

To pill or not to pill?

I am forgetting why I'm on these pills... When I'm depressed I think about whether or not I would prefer to have bipolar and losing it is something that I cant even bear to imagine. Its a drug and in my opinion in my state of mind right now (normalish - slightly hypomanic) the lows are worth the highs. I don't want to give them up. I refuse to be normal and unimaginative. I want to live all of life! I want the extreme emotions, the extreme colour and feelings that normal people don't get! I can find wonderland in my own head and what is wrong with that?