To pill or not to pill?

I am forgetting why I'm on these pills... When I'm depressed I think about whether or not I would prefer to have bipolar and losing it is something that I cant even bear to imagine. Its a drug and in my opinion in my state of mind right now (normalish - slightly hypomanic) the lows are worth the highs. I don't want to give them up. I refuse to be normal and unimaginative. I want to live all of life! I want the extreme emotions, the extreme colour and feelings that normal people don't get! I can find wonderland in my own head and what is wrong with that?