My insecurities will eat me alive

I'm so pathetically needy at the moment. I'm terrified of being rejected and am constantly imagining people talking about what a FREAK I am behind my back. I know people care but at the same time I don't believe it. I want to run away from everything. Dye my hair and eyebrows blonde and have a fringe that covers my face so no one will recognise me. I don't want to have to confront reality and face the threat of failure. I can't fail. I've never failed. If I don't try then I can't fail my expectations.